In my work with women, what I know for sure is that we ALL struggle with baseline negative emotions and some nasty belief systems about ourselves that become our habits to feel and think about.
We do this because it’s part of just being human!
Personally, my “go-to” negative emotions are shame and guilt. Therefore, my energy (by habit) looks for the world outside to match why I should be feeling those emotions and sensations that go along with them.
This is not on a conscious level, but is a product of the subconscious. It’s where our bodies create an addiction of sorts to how the emotions make us feel.
I have been in the question of where these negative emotions were birthed while I have been traveling these last few weeks. The beauty of travel of that you can actually take the time “to be in a question” like this one.
I know the origin is probably from lifetimes ago, yet they can still show up in this one. If I sat in therapy again, I would definitely find even more reasons from my past why the emotions of guilt and shame became my way of dealing with and surviving life. I could probably look at my childhood forever and talk about more reasons that exist, but unfortunately that can lead to more rewiring of the very neural networking that I want to transform.
Here’s the thing, we all find a way of surviving. Through our perception of experiences as young children, we develop belief systems that then become our behavior and personalities. This pathway is now proven in brain science and the origin of it starts during our imprinting years (0-6 years). It is all part of what creates a pathway of addiction to “feeling bad” in whatever way or version we create for ourselves, and whatever negative emotions and limiting beliefs our young minds come up with.
So, what can we do?
Well, for me, as I am present to those feelings (shame and guilt), I don’t process them. I sit in them. I sit with them in the stillness for long enough to feel what my body is addicted to when they arise. In the stillness, I can let the emotions that my body finds as a way of familiar being, move through me rather than react to them – in however I might do that on any given day! Shopping to avoid them has been a favorite go-to for me!!
Most importantly, I sit long enough to let the light enter to transmute and dissolve those old pathways of behavior.
This is a fundamental practice I guide my clients through in my work and it’s a learned skill and practice! For all of us, sitting in the STILLNESS can be the path to the freedom we ache for and as Pema Chadron has said so eloquently:
“So even if the hot loneliness is there, and for 1.6 seconds we sit with that restlessness when yesterday we couldn’t sit for even 1, that’s the journey of the warrior.”
What are some of the negative emotions that you still hold on to? Feel free to reply and let me know – I’d love to hear from you.
with love and light,